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Gutted

No, this isn’t a post about Gary Gygax.

Sorry to be so selfish but this one is all about me.

I have very few close friends who have known me for any length of time in my life. I spent my childhood moving around, city to city, school to school. Even in my adult life, I spent a few years in Georgia, a couple years back in Minnesota, a few years in Vancouver and so forth. Seattle’s been the place I’ve sunk my roots for the longest ever and that’s a mere 10 years.

This is not to say that I haven’t had friends in all the places I’ve lived, just that when I moved away from wherever it was I inevitably lost touch with people. My best friend in Georgia got divorced and moved away to start over, which included losing touch with me. The guy who was my best friend in Minnesota fell in love, moved away, and we lost touch. In Vancouver, Nigel Findley was the guy who held our group together and when he died and I moved away I lost touch with many of those guys. Life happens.

Life is happening again. In the last several years, many of my game industry friends have ended up moving away. One of the guys who stood up as a witness for my wedding fell in love, moved away, and I think we received a Christmas card once… others have gotten jobs and moved to distant lands (England, Canada, far southern California). I was gutted when Foxbat left us for a job. Codrus is taking some interviews soon and it’s all too likely that he’ll be leaving us as well.

Today I heard some really devastating news, though. News I predicted a few weeks ago and then Pramas convinced me that I was being overly pessimistic so I decided to be all cool about it. But no. My gut doesn’t steer me wrong on these things. I was accursedly correct and our number will be diminished yet again. I have three or four people I refer to when talking about “my oldest, dearest friends” and I’m losing another one. Even having predicted it, I definitely, selfishly, did not want this to happen. I am torn up over this one, wrenched, heartsick. I will be the good friend, I will support my dear friend in his endeavors, but I am very, very unhappy and feeling very sorry for myself right now.

56 comments to Gutted

  • Sorry to hear that, Nik. Good reasons or bad, losing friends hurts. *hug*

  • Sorry to hear that, Nik. Good reasons or bad, losing friends hurts. *hug*

  • *hug* I know what it’s like when good friends move away. There’s a definite time of grieving involved.

    It sounds as though you’re a lot like me – the friends from your youth are no longer a major part of your life, for assorted reasons. Sometimes that makes it harder.

    Maybe this is a time you can reach out and ping some of your older friends, if only to let them know that you’re thinking of them? I’m sure they’d be pleased to hear from you (I was when an old friend got back in touch with me a couple of weeks ago).

  • *hug* I know what it’s like when good friends move away. There’s a definite time of grieving involved.

    It sounds as though you’re a lot like me – the friends from your youth are no longer a major part of your life, for assorted reasons. Sometimes that makes it harder.

    Maybe this is a time you can reach out and ping some of your older friends, if only to let them know that you’re thinking of them? I’m sure they’d be pleased to hear from you (I was when an old friend got back in touch with me a couple of weeks ago).

  • *hug* I know what it’s like when good friends move away. There’s a definite time of grieving involved.

    It sounds as though you’re a lot like me – the friends from your youth are no longer a major part of your life, for assorted reasons. Sometimes that makes it harder.

    Maybe this is a time you can reach out and ping some of your older friends, if only to let them know that you’re thinking of them? I’m sure they’d be pleased to hear from you (I was when an old friend got back in touch with me a couple of weeks ago).

  • *hug* I know what it’s like when good friends move away. There’s a definite time of grieving involved.

    It sounds as though you’re a lot like me – the friends from your youth are no longer a major part of your life, for assorted reasons. Sometimes that makes it harder.

    Maybe this is a time you can reach out and ping some of your older friends, if only to let them know that you’re thinking of them? I’m sure they’d be pleased to hear from you (I was when an old friend got back in touch with me a couple of weeks ago).